Z8 Water Treatment Plant
Our Guards
Gurgen Beridze
Gurgen has been at the Z8 Water Treatment Plant since it was built in 1964. He was originally part of the construction team, but after the plant had been finished he just never left. He has been wandering the same guard route ever since. To this date it is uncertain whether or not he is paid for his work.
Liai Giorgadze
Liai is a new addition to the team of guards here at the Z8 water plant. A former pro wrestler, Liai had to retire from professional fighting because of a bizarre earlobe related incident. She now prefers spending her time being involved in strange and elaborate photoshoots.
Nika Jughashi
Nika joined the plant around 4 years ago after leaving the Engineer Brigade of the Molvarian army. Nika stated his love of pipes and water when asked why he chose to come to work for the plant. He will often be seen sitting in the Security Room on his breaks just staring at pipes on the CCTV monitors.
Our Snipers
Zita Tamm
Zita is one of our longest serving and best snipers. She is able to hit the wing of a fly from 400m. We were going to enter her into this year’s Molvaria Top Sniper competition, but unfortunately she is short-sighted and a couple of months ago she accidentally sat on her glasses. We won’t be able to get her a new pair for at least another six months due to her incredibly specific prescription.
Noora Pärn
Since starting with us as a sniper, Noora has discharged her weapon several times, mainly out of surprise when she wakes up from her regular naps in the guard towers. When Noora is on duty, other members of staff have learned to avoid her field of vision.
Priita Balodis
Priita has always dreamed of being a sniper. Once, when she was a child, she lined her stuffed animals up and shot them at range with a nail gun she’d taken from her father’s workshop. Her father was concerned about her behaviour, but was impressed by her accuracy. To this day she can still put a masonry nail in a Beanie Baby from 40 metres.
Otso Tähtinen
Otso is one of the most popular members of the sniper team. He’s a larger than life character, always telling a joke to his fellow snipers over the radio. Unfortunately, snipers become significantly less accurate when laughing and this has led to many accidents.
Seela Järvinen
One of our newest snipers, Seela has impressed the rest of the team with her performances at the shooting range. She loves football and never misses a Dynamo Pochiv match, either in person or on TV.
Petri Saari
Petri started working in the mail room here at Z8 but – as so many do – worked his way up to water technician before being promoted to sniper. He’s hopeful that it won’t be long before he’s promoted to Chief Pipe Cleaner.
Our Guard Dogs
Hamish
Hamish is a loyal companion who is actually more interested in chasing squirrels than intruders. Because of the lack of interest from thieves in the Z8 Water Treatment Plant, Hamish has been able to live a long happy life filled mostly with chicken and belly rubs.
Hamish is a well trained boy, but his previous owner only spoke Czech. If you would like Hamish to calm down and let you give him belly rubs then all you need to do is tell him to roll over in Czech. He’ll be on his back faster than a tortoise in a hurricane.
Bruce
Bruce is a very good boy. He works harder than any of the other dogs when they are undergoing their training and never complains, no matter what he is asked to do.
He joined us from a Hungarian circus and still possesses all of the skills he learnt while he was there. He can walk the tightrope, hang off a trapeze by his mouth and if someone who he was chasing ever shouted the word ‘backflip’ in Hungarian he would launch into an acrobatic sequence that would see him end up several hundred metres away from where he started.
Gizmo
Rescued as a pup, Gizmo quickly became one of the guards’ favourite guard dogs. What he lacks in size he makes up for in exuberance, and chases intruders for much longer than his canine colleagues (although because his legs are shorter he never catches them).
Gizmo’s only negative attribute is his obsession with carrots – he’s willing to disobey any order if there’s a chance of being given a carrot.
Roscoe
Roscoe is by far the most intelligent of all of the dogs at the water treatment plant. While the other dogs might chase after intruders, Roscoe will use her brain to outsmart them. Indeed one intruder thought they had successfully escaped from the treatment plant and boarded a local bus, only to find Roscoe sat next to the bus driver.
Roscoe is obsessed with balls – large or small, if it’s round or bounces, she will want to play with it. She once chased after a guard who was holding an apple for over 5 miles.
Bear
Most intruders steer well clear of Bear, but he is the softest and least aggressive dog we’ve ever employed. Thankfully, his powerful bark is enough to make up for his unaggressive instincts as one bark can render a would-be intruder temporarily deaf from a distance of more than 20 metres.
However, Bear will fall silent so long as you play fetch with him – he’ll fetch anything, just throw whatever’s closest to you and he’ll happily retrieve it for you.
Drift
Drift is the most aggressive of all the dogs at the water treatment plant. She once bit an intruder so hard that she was still attached to her two days later.
Drift is made all the more dangerous by the fact that she knows only one command, ‘lie down. Unfortunately, as her trainer is from Romania, she only understands Romanian – rendering the command useless.
Other Facilities
All our other facilities are staffed by contractors so we don’t know what they look like, but we’re sure they’re very well presented and incredibly fond of water.